You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
