what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
