Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
