Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
