Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
