Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
