think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
