I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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