I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Randomize
