Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
