Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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