She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
