She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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