i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
