nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
