There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
