ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
