my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Girls should come with a carfax report
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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