So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
