im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
