Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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