he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
