it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
