I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
