found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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