well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
