Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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