You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
