Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize