No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
