I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
