I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
