forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
