I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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