And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
