cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
