Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
