summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Found the puke drawer
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
