i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's always time for handjobs
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
