shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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