The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do vagina's smell?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she peed on how many people?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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