goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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