3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Your mouth is God's brothel.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
