We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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