Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
