ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
