guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
