I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
