The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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