when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
